Thu 3 Apr – Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, The Constantines
Kay.
So.
Let's just say, next time I go to a
Ted Leo and The Pharmacists show, I may have to scream even louder... my argument being that I can still talk, so I couldn't have been nearly loud enough. Last night, Thursday April 3rd, 2008; Shane and I were psyched to hear Ted play Toronto again after missing his gig last October. From the second we got on the Coach Bus to head down to Toronto we were in the Ted spirit... ready to rock and roll, my iPod blasting out some of my favourite tracks to get us pumped:
Me and Mia;
Little Dawn;
Bridges, Squares;
Timorous Me... the list goes on forever.
So anyway, the gist of the ride was that after 14 Ted songs and people looking at us funny from us singing on the bus, we got to Toronto. Me and Shane split a plate of chicken fajitas for some foodage, and then picked up a taxi to get to the church. Sure enough, there was a -huge- line that was forming outside, and too many people for me to count were lined up at the doors in the less-than-desirable neighbourhood for a more-than-desirable gig. We stood around Berkeley Church until the doors opened at 7:00pm, and grabbed a few
The Constantines stickers and bolted to the velvet rope about three feet from the stage (depriving us of our Ted closeness... bastards xD) while everyone else was getting drinks. We recognized a few people we'd seen at our last Ted concert (back in May,
Event and
review) like the four girls in the front (whom Ted recognized when he walked in) and a few other faces I can't place right now.
Anyway, we were stood beside two older persons which appeared quite out of place (until we later realized they were lead singer Bryan Webb's parents... >.<) and I really can't say a whole lot about the Constantines show, other than the fact it completely blew me away. They were a great band to hear live, they sounded like
Wilco with a touch of
Bob Seger all thrown together with the punk rock of
The Clash. Man, they were so good, it was a real pity they couldn't sell CD's there cause it wasn't like an actual gig, but I'm definitely looking into buying it. I hadn't heard the Constantines before last night, but they were on
Arts & Crafts, so they had to be good. I was not expecting them to be -that- good, though.
So, if you're reading this for a review on the Constantines show, ask the chick in the turquoise shirt who stood beside me and sang along with every word, because I had no idea what they were playing... all I know is that they played
young offender by request of the guy to my left and behind me. Good moments of this show were my idiotic cell phone waving (hey, I thought people would catch on, but no...), the, "I love you!" "You too, man." "That's creepy!" "You're creepy!", "Play an entire album!" "Which one?" "The new one!" "ABBEY ROAD!", and the confession about having to have makeup, leading to "All I can see is a flesh-coloured fog... Will just informed me our next album will be called 'Flesh-Coloured Fog.'"
So, after
The Constantines had finished their setlist (complete with encore, please don't ask me what the song was, xD), a good quarter of the place emptied out, which was kind of depressing, seeing as all us Ted fans were forced to watch The Constantines play their set (though I'm not complaining) but they could have had the good grace to stay and watch, as the moment we spotted Ted (complete with sporting a new beard, a green and white shirt, and slacks) whoops and screams erupted, and the energy picked right up, and the smell of perspiration wafted back into the air.
Before this, I was a Marty Key, aka 'Violence', virgin, and was worried of how Dave Lerner's leaving the band would affect them, but I noticed next to no difference, and would like to congratulate Marty on it, if he's reading this right now (quite unlikely, but whatever.).
So. Once everything is hooked up, Beautiful Noise announces that we should all "Give it up for American rockers
Ted Leo and The Pharmacists!" And lo, we gave it up, and the good lord of rock said it was good, haha. O_o Anyway, Ted says hello and starts the setlist with the
Living With The Living hit song,
Sons of Cain, keeping all us little fans entertained, screaming along choruses of "So you're gone now, and who's to blame? Left down here among the sons of Cain."
Now, that's a great opener, really, so great, I can't even remember what they played next. Lemme think... um, OH! How the hell did I forget that he played
The Angels' Share? Me, Nathan and Shane have an inside joke about that, cause Shane randomly started humping the air while we were listening to that, and it became the humping song to us after that.... xD.... we're losers... I know... anyway, after blowing us away, and only having said a couple words, he told us he'd be playing a teaser from the new album (NEW ALBUM! RUMOURED FOR SEPTEMBER LIEK OMG HEART HEART HEART <3<3<3<3!!! YUSSS) which sounded fucking amazing, not like his new style, back to the old style of
Hearts of Oak and
Shake the Sheets with a real nice beat and flow to it, not to mention, a crazy guitar solo, which was followed by our wild whooping, obviously.
So sue me if I get the setlist wrong, but I didn't bring anything to write it on, or with, so this is what I'm pretty sure happened after the new song. He comes up to the mic, still having not said a whole lot at this point, and says that his next song is called
Army Bound. Then, Ted started to play what was probably the most energetic song of the night... the long awaited
Me and Mia. As we all screamed along with "Call your friends 'cause we've forgotten/what it's like to eat what's rotten/what's eating you alive, might help you to survive!", the screaming being pretty common in every song. I would say the first two rows definitely had the most energy, bouncing up and down a bunch before we calmed down.
Ted started to talk about his g-string and how it was sounding awkward now, and we all started laughing. Real mature, Ted, real mature, lmao. I screamed at him to play Biomusicology, while Shane screamed Timorous Me, but only Shane got what he wanted, with a rendition of
Timorous Me that -didn't- lead into
Walking to Do, which made me a little sad inside, but he didn't even play it all night! He snapped his high E string playing Timorous, and backup guitarist James Canty did Ted the good favour of lending Ted his SG special, while he went behind the amps to string up Ted's Gibson. Anyway, no one seemed to notice the lack of a second guitarist when we screamed along to
Counting Down the Hours, which we all (surprise surprise)... screamed along with. Probably the second best energy song of the night. Ted wasn't announcing too many songs, just playing and letting us figure 'em out... but we whooped and screamed as he said simply into the mic, "This one's called,
Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone?" as we erupted into clapping for the hundredth time, screaming our voices dead to the words... haha...
Dead Voices... get it? Nevermind. Then, he plays Colleen for the four girls, who, (other than Emma) we still don't know all the names of (and rather unfortunately). Anyway, Colleen goes by and I resist the temptation to challenge Ted to arm wrestling.... he's ripped, and I'm a pussy xD. So we all talk for a bit. Ted thanks all the guys at Beautiful Noise for putting together free(?!) shows(?!) for their taping, and we all shout and such. Ted keeps yelling at his electric tuner, and walk off to his amp and leads into
Little Dawn. Possibly the best song to get a hyped-up crowd of rowdy punk-rockers to sing along to, I know we all stretched our weary hands out to Ted. But, it's alright. Heh. That tune went right into
Bomb. Repeat. Bomb where about half the crowd (mostly Constantines fans) sang the 'bomb repeat bomb' while us diehards doubled Ted's political rap, myself making sure I shouted my favourite line, "Just let that payload fly and wing on home my son--it's not your day to die." Which, frankly, was killer.
Finally I get my wish and Ted starts playing what could be one of the best songs (other than
Bridges, Squares) he has ever written...
Biomusicology, one of the highlights of my evening, as my voice was shot but I was almost singing -louder- than Ted. We all sang and clapped, and Ted nearly fell over his patchchord while starting the solo before the last verse. I was finally happy. I wish he played
Bridges, Squares live more often, though. It's really a great song, Ted lovers, don't overlook it just because it's placed near the back of Hearts of Oak, it's a great song.
So. Ted goes back for his scotch, and Shane shouts out "Whatcha drinkin', Ted?!" Ted laughs after his sip and says, "Guess!" with the most amusing response being "Not the shit they sell here!" Appropriately enough, Ted went straight into
A Bottle of Buckie, adding a little more of the good ol' Irish sound that really hits home if you're a celt like me. Then everything is all good when the front two rows hear Chris Wilson pound out the beat to
Annunciation Day/Born On Christmas Day and we all sing along to the politically charged song, subconsciously wondering whether they would censor him or not. Stupid blood national telly. Anyway, I wouldn't have picked the next two songs, because, well, first off, I think Living With the Living just "had its moments" whereas there is not a single bad song on Hearts of Oak or Shake the Sheets... also, I think that the first of his two songs here,
The Unwanted Things, is very... um... un-Tedly, and it was just barely made up for by
Who Do You Love?, which, in my opinion, should have made the CD instead of the
Mo' Living EP.
So. Ted says he has to bring things to a close, and I cannot for the life of me tell you what he played, to be honest. It was great, and I think it was either off of an EP (like a cover or something) or something from the New Album. It was a weird way to close the show, myself being used to
Rappaport's Testament: I Never Gave Up, however, it was closed, and Ted must have gotten the red light, because we screamed and cheered and clapped and shouted "Encore! One More!" until most of the patrons had left the Church. To bad there was to be no encore for Teddy.
Highlights of the show that I can't remember when they happened were the "Play a G!" "Oh, I'll play a G. DON'T MAKE ME PLAY A G!"; "How long do I have left?" "All your songs!" "All fucking night!" "Play as long as you want, Ted!" "I should have texted that to the manager. Hold on, -mimes cell phone- Beep beep boo bip bop beep. Send. Whoo!"; "Fuck Censorship!"; and "Talk amongst yourselves, I guess." "You know who's an awesome band? TED LEO AND THE PHARMACISTS!!!!!!1!!!!one!!1!" "Really? I thought you'd say Metallica..."
If you know the actual set, for the love of Teddy, correct me. I know I don't, but I do know I didn't miss a single song that he played. :D
So, after the gig, me and Shane and the four girls we recognized are standing around, still screaming Bloody Mary for an encore, and Ted just comes out to talk. Let me just say this. Talk to this guy, he is the funniest, smartest, kickass motherfucker you will ever meet. Holy shit. He was talking about the show that had been at Berkeley Church the night before he played, where the guy (the name has escaped me) played his punk folk with a Welsh Men's choir backing him up... and when Ted went in to see him (the headliner) after the show, the Welsh guys were too smashed to tell he wasn't one of them, which was funny. Other than that we just talked about the concert and veganing and where to get good sushi close and the makeup they had ("I just told her, 'I have baggy eyes... can you do something about it?' And she was like -gay voice- 'oh yes this will do fabulously!'") and whatnot. So after Ted went to pack up Shane and I bade farewell to the girls and scanned the room for Chris Wilson, possibly the best drummer I've ever heard... but alas, he was nowhere to be found.
My mum rang my cellphone and said she'd be there in twenty, and we saw James Canty as he left, and followed him out for some fresh air (my voice at this point is like "I cuh-nuh ha-z ch-eee-bah-goh? (I can haz cheesburger?)" and we pick up a bunch of the Constantines stickers to tack up around the school, and my mum calls saying she's outside the Church. Shane says "We should double check if Jesus (that's what we call Chris) is there!" So we go back into the main room, and just as we enter the door. "Nah, he's not, let's go." Shane turns defeatedly and almost hits the doors when I see a familiar beard and haircut, striking against a candy red shirt---IT WAS FUCKING JESUS!
SO HOW EXCITED WERE WE? SO EXCITED THAT I'M GOING TO TYPE THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!! Z0M6 W3 H4Z T3H M3T5 J35U5!!! But seriously, we walked up to him, and Shane couldn't speak so my scraggly voice picked up and I stated our purpose: "Yo Chris... we think you're absolutely fucking awesome!" and he smiles at us and thanks us, so Shane replies "We've thought you were awesome since we saw you play last." and I jump in with "We think you look like Jesus, and play like him too!" and we all share a laugh. Truly, he was more than 5000x the awesomeness that we thought he would be.
WE WERE SO FUCKING HAPPY
WE MET JESUS/CHRIS WILSON!
SUHWEETNESSSSS. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think what I said to Shane in the car sums up the gig in general. "Some gangsta could pop out and shoot me now, and I would die a very, very happy man."
THE END.
TED, EFFING COME BACK TO TORONTO REAL SOON!!
Bob Seger
