Charles Manson(Whoops! Maybe you were looking for shit?)
After releasing his masterpiece, U2 2004's sweeping epic arena rock masterpiece How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, Bono took a well-deserved hiatus before going slowly insa
Hey, what's up. I'm stop_jackin_it and I was going to tell you the current news of the terrible massacre occuring in Gaza Strip's since late December, however, I realised that I was no Jewish journalist trying to cover up the magnitude of the disaster to CNN, so I just came here to talk about all the minor annoyances that have been happening to me lately. One of them's lack of sleep. During the last two fucking weeks I haven't been able to sleep properly until 2-3 AM, and I've had to make myself a shitty tasteless sandwhich, turn on the TV to watch some good ole porno/pseudo-(f)arty "independent" films, and read several times The Catcher in the Rye to try to get Mark David Chapman and Charles Manson out of jail. I've tried everything: weed, coke, acid and (of course) some booze. Must be related to the end of this fucking world coming on 3 years. (Main article: Barack Obama).
Oh, another problem I've had is that thanks to this shitty insomnia problem is that everyone says I've had been screaming at them for no good reason when I wake up at 7 pm, after 16 deserved hours full of sleep. The problem is that nowadays everyone's listeing their shitty muzak with their stupid, crappy iPods at full volume, causing them to be UNAVOIDABLY AND INVARIBLY FUCKING DEAF, WHICH MEANS THAT I HAVE TO TALK TO EVERYONE USING THIS -ANNOYING FOR SOME- VOLUME SO THEY CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING. OK? FINE. COME AND SUE ME IF YOU WANT TO, SNEAKY BASTARD!
Oh, I have another problem. I have another week and a half off. Since the last holiday season was officially the shittiest I've ever had and the last 2 weeks have been even more boring than meeting a homosexual and Cockio Hotel-loving metalhead, I decided that I was gonna hang myself tomorrow if I didn't find something else to do.
Fortunately, I remembered that the latest Woody Allen's movie was being displayed on some nearby theater and decided to invite a friend to watch it.
Which brings me, unfortunately, to Twilight. My friend already saw that other film and I missed the opportunity to watch Scarlett Johansson's hypnotizing cleavage, so we decided to wear our best movie critic/snob clothing and watch Twilight.
Ass.
It was one of the corniest, phoniest, most disgusting things I've ever paid for. What the fuck was smoking whoever was the author of this big pile of feces???? And who was idiot enough to spend several million dollars producing a film adaptation of this senseless (even for a fiction story) Dracula-meets-Romeo-and-Juliet "tale"?? I think that someone needs a crash course on economy, particularly these days, when Wall Street's sucking a big cock and fucking up the entire world...
I refrain from telling you specific details of the film, because you may as well waste your money reading the book or find the movie's plot on Wikipedia and save time, but I think I'll have to share a detail or two about it:
-One of the main characters, known as Bella, looked like a fucking pseudo-vegan, anorexic slut. Her male counterpart, Edward, seemed to be a racist and assholish-looking bully. The only character I found any redeemable was his sister, whose name I don't remember but I found very fuckable.
-The soundtrack. Oh well. If you're 10 and love Paramore and have orgasms when you listen Decode, watching this will become one of your life-defining moments. Best moment of the film: When
15 Step started playing, of course! Which was curiously enough the end of the film and the start of the credits, and I closed my eyes and imagined I was watching something like "(No Matter How Overrated You Say We Are, We're Still) Radiohead: The Concert" instead of having spent two of the most eternally tedious hours of my life watching that piece of crap. Worst moment: Why, the baseball scene, of course! I don't have anything against Supermassive Black Hole or something, but I don't find any attractive the prospect of watching a bunch of apparent vampires playing baseball to the rhythm of Muse (which some of you may know as Thom Yorke meets Rage Against the Machine meets fake progressive rock) trying to have an appropiate sound to be remixed so it can be heard in a bar for shemales on a friday night. I just wish I could unsee it. Oh, my poor eyes :'(
In conclusion, if you're a MCR/Panic at the Disco/Fall Out Boy ignorant fangirl/fangay, you should probably see it. If you don't, though, do something else: vandalize Wikipedia, stalk your neighbours, become the new Bill Gates, build a house for someone who needs it, make a band and become the biggest rock star ever... but please don't dare to watch this stupid piece of rubbish. Thank you very much.
PS: Do not fap to my review. thanks!
PPS: How could I not connect this to the Twilight Soundtrack?
After releasing his masterpiece, U2 2004's sweeping epic arena rock masterpiece How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, Bono took a well-deserved hiatus before going slowly insa
Hey, what's up. I'm stop_jackin_it and I was going to tell you the current news of the terrible massacre occuring in Gaza Strip's since late December, however, I realised that I was no Jewish journalist trying to cover up the magnitude of the disaster to CNN, so I just came here to talk about all the minor annoyances that have been happening to me lately. One of them's lack of sleep. During the last two fucking weeks I haven't been able to sleep properly until 2-3 AM, and I've had to make myself a shitty tasteless sandwhich, turn on the TV to watch some good ole porno/pseudo-(f)arty "independent" films, and read several times The Catcher in the Rye to try to get Mark David Chapman and Charles Manson out of jail. I've tried everything: weed, coke, acid and (of course) some booze. Must be related to the end of this fucking world coming on 3 years. (Main article: Barack Obama).
Oh, another problem I've had is that thanks to this shitty insomnia problem is that everyone says I've had been screaming at them for no good reason when I wake up at 7 pm, after 16 deserved hours full of sleep. The problem is that nowadays everyone's listeing their shitty muzak with their stupid, crappy iPods at full volume, causing them to be UNAVOIDABLY AND INVARIBLY FUCKING DEAF, WHICH MEANS THAT I HAVE TO TALK TO EVERYONE USING THIS -ANNOYING FOR SOME- VOLUME SO THEY CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING. OK? FINE. COME AND SUE ME IF YOU WANT TO, SNEAKY BASTARD!
Oh, I have another problem. I have another week and a half off. Since the last holiday season was officially the shittiest I've ever had and the last 2 weeks have been even more boring than meeting a homosexual and Cockio Hotel-loving metalhead, I decided that I was gonna hang myself tomorrow if I didn't find something else to do.
Fortunately, I remembered that the latest Woody Allen's movie was being displayed on some nearby theater and decided to invite a friend to watch it.
Which brings me, unfortunately, to Twilight. My friend already saw that other film and I missed the opportunity to watch Scarlett Johansson's hypnotizing cleavage, so we decided to wear our best movie critic/snob clothing and watch Twilight.
Ass.
It was one of the corniest, phoniest, most disgusting things I've ever paid for. What the fuck was smoking whoever was the author of this big pile of feces???? And who was idiot enough to spend several million dollars producing a film adaptation of this senseless (even for a fiction story) Dracula-meets-Romeo-and-Juliet "tale"?? I think that someone needs a crash course on economy, particularly these days, when Wall Street's sucking a big cock and fucking up the entire world...
I refrain from telling you specific details of the film, because you may as well waste your money reading the book or find the movie's plot on Wikipedia and save time, but I think I'll have to share a detail or two about it:
-One of the main characters, known as Bella, looked like a fucking pseudo-vegan, anorexic slut. Her male counterpart, Edward, seemed to be a racist and assholish-looking bully. The only character I found any redeemable was his sister, whose name I don't remember but I found very fuckable.
-The soundtrack. Oh well. If you're 10 and love Paramore and have orgasms when you listen Decode, watching this will become one of your life-defining moments. Best moment of the film: When
15 Step started playing, of course! Which was curiously enough the end of the film and the start of the credits, and I closed my eyes and imagined I was watching something like "(No Matter How Overrated You Say We Are, We're Still) Radiohead: The Concert" instead of having spent two of the most eternally tedious hours of my life watching that piece of crap. Worst moment: Why, the baseball scene, of course! I don't have anything against Supermassive Black Hole or something, but I don't find any attractive the prospect of watching a bunch of apparent vampires playing baseball to the rhythm of Muse (which some of you may know as Thom Yorke meets Rage Against the Machine meets fake progressive rock) trying to have an appropiate sound to be remixed so it can be heard in a bar for shemales on a friday night. I just wish I could unsee it. Oh, my poor eyes :'(In conclusion, if you're a MCR/Panic at the Disco/Fall Out Boy ignorant fangirl/fangay, you should probably see it. If you don't, though, do something else: vandalize Wikipedia, stalk your neighbours, become the new Bill Gates, build a house for someone who needs it, make a band and become the biggest rock star ever... but please don't dare to watch this stupid piece of rubbish. Thank you very much.
PS: Do not fap to my review. thanks!
PPS: How could I not connect this to the Twilight Soundtrack?
