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Bands I like that are crap

26 Eyl 2008, 23:57

Another journal entry inspired me to look objectively at some of my favourite bands. As it turns out, some of them suck. These are them, in ascending order of how much they suck.

Blutengel
Okay. Blutengel actually produces some great, catchy music. The problem is, three-quarters of his song are basically the same thing. A lot of them even just use this one melancholic-sounding chord progression. It's a really good chord progression, and honestly I don't really get tired of it, but we're being objective here.

Stars of the Lid
This one is less about the quality of the music and more about the music itself. Come on. This stuff is like Kenny G distilled until it's 94% new age faggotry. Who the hell listens to this? What kind of people would you see at a concert? It's probably middle-aged women who do yoga and worry about antioxidants or some crap like that.

Combichrist
As far as EBM goes, Combichrist is the most repetitive music ever. Half of his songs could be thirty seconds long and you wouldn't lose anything. Also, so much of it is way to slow. Like, 110 BPM. Who wants to listen to EBM at 110 BPM?

Masonna
Masonna is my favourite noisician. But you know what? It's the shittiest noise ever. Honestly. Every single song is just various permutations of static and screaming. No texture, no dynamics, no variation. I genuinely have no idea why I prefer it over Sutcliffe Jugend - which is basically the same thing but with more texture - Government Alpha - which lacks vocals but has really harsh instruments - and Merzbow - which is fucking Merzbow.

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